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resolutions [Jan. 2nd, 2012|09:29 am]
Since my previous resolutions have worked out so well...

This year I resolve to:
  • Get drunk more often
  • Participate in no exercise more strenuous than walking from the couch to the fridge
  • Buy everything I have room for on my credit cards
  • Lie
  • Cheat
  • Steal
  • Eat all the foods I love, in massive quantities
  • Invest my money exclusively in lottery tickets and Texas Hold'em tournaments
  • Watch massive amounts of TV